Worst Dating Advice Ever

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Being single is like being pregnant. Everyone has advice for you, whether you ask for it or not and half of them don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Here a few jems

1.   Stay a Mystery. Exposing who you are slowly to a person you’re dating maybe be what you’re comfortable with when getting to know someone, but keeping yourself at a distance by remaining a complete mystery can feel like a game to the other person. So while you may not want to tell your entire life story on the first date be sure not to become a confusing puzzle that he may not want to solve

2.   Don’t pay for anything on early dates. It’s not unreasonable to expect a man to pay for a first date, but it can be a major turnoff to always have alligator arms every time the cheque comes. A lot of men are turned off by women with the princess complex. Even paying the tip can be a great gesture

3.   Always Play Hard to Get. Making a man work for it can be fun, but make sure not to make this your approach on every date. Go with the flow and do things when they seem natural.

4.   Don’t wait on Sex. When it comes to sex and dating there are a lot of different rules. Whether you decide to give up the goods on the first date or  give him a 90 day waiting period, both methods can set you up for failure

5.   Mr Right Now will do. All women go out in hopes of finding Mr Right, but this can become frustrating especially when he doesn’t show up when you want him to, but settling for Mr Okay will lead to disaster so never settle.

6.   Don’t go on last minute dates. A lot of people will tell you accepting a last minute date will make you look desperate and overly available, but if you’re really interested in a man and he contacts you  to make plans, don’t turn him down if you don’t have to

The Good The Bad and The Single

All Work and No Play Makes Jane a Horny Girl

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Nowadays woman are making leaps and bounds in the business world, but unfortunately  it’ s also caused a huge in balance in our personal lives. Here are a few tips to tip the scale back in favor or your love life.

1.   Make time in your schedule – it’s a new year and before you restart your dating journey have a serious heart to heart with yourself. Are you willing to dedicate time outside of the office on other things than work? If you honestly cannot commit to the idea of a relationship then DON’T. You wouldn’t someone to treat you like an option instead of a priority

2.   Get rid of your “Perfect Guy” list. Having a long list of expectations practically sets you up for failure. It’s understandable that as a successful woman wanting to join forces with someone who is just as ambitious and decorated in achievements, but you should be careful not to limit yourself. Your perfect guy may not wear a suit to work and that’s ok

3.   Get out of the office and participate in events. How can you expect to meet that special someone if all you do is work. If you’re constantly buried under a mountain of work you can’t expect to meet the love of your life. Sure there’s always the option of the office romance but that doesn’t work for everyone and it comes with it’s own drawbacks. Step away from your desk and start participating in hobbies and social outings. Start going to the gym and concentrate on a healthier lifestyle. Say yes to invitations from friends for fun nights out on the town where you can meet new people. Stop using work as an excuse not to go out.

4.   Don’t limit yourself to online dating. Nowadays most social interactions take place online than face to face and if you’re busy it’s much easier way to date but there are both bonuses and hindrances to dating online. So if the online thing isn’t working for you don’t be afraid to get back to the organic way of meeting someone knew

5.   Let’s do lunch. If you are short on time and perhaps you have other responsibilities after work why not try a lunch date. It might not be the most ideal time but it is another option. It won’t give you a lot of time but if things go well crave out some time after work to meet for dinner but if things are a bust you can at least use your job as an excuse to bail out

6.   Don’t play down your achievements. Being a successful man is always celebrated but being a successful financially independent woman makes a lot of men insecure. Never water down your accomplishments to get or keep a man. At the end of the day you don’t want to be with a man who is intimidated by your success. But be careful not to lead a date with your resume. Talking about your job can be a major turn off. Keep in mind your job is not who you are it’s what you do.

7.   No power suits outside the office. Wearing the same suit on a date as you would to the office is a major no no. Loosen up, unless it’s a lunch date or you’re meeting right after work try to change it up and look less corporate. Remember this is a date not a job interview. Easy ways to change it up is loose the blazer and change your shoes or change your dress pants in for a pair of jeans.

8.   Avoid turning your date into a job interview. The best part about dating is getting to know someone but be careful that your date doesn’t feel like he’s being interviewed for the position of boyfriend. Small talk about current events or asking them what their hobbies/interests and being a good listener are all great ways to  ensure a more balanced conversation

Top 10 Celebrity Couples Who Remind Us to Never Settle

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1. Jay Z & Beyonce. Forget about Peaches & Herb every time this power couple perform together they remind us of how special this relationship is, and gives us hope that our matched equal is out there.

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2.Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith. Not only do these two look like walking sex on the red carpet, they’ve also proven they you can get along with your husband’s ex-wife without any drama and raise two super talented kids.

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3.Pink & Carey Hart. Love ain’t easy you’ve got to work at it and Pink has always been honest about the trials and tribulations she and her hubby have gone through and they are still going strong. Plus she proposed to him.

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4. Ice-T & Coco. The rapper turned actor proved to the world on his reality show “Ice Loves Coco” that thugs need love too.

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5.Victoria Beckham & David Beckham. The pop princess and the soccer star have been together since 1997. Four kids later these two are still going strong and getting hotter in the process.

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6. Amber Rose & Wiz Khalifa. Rappers and video girls go together like peanut butter and jelly. As odd as these two look together there’s no doubt this is the real thing and we love their love.

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7. John Legend & Chrissy Teigen.  Classic example of the extrovert and the introvert. If you want to know what true love songs like just listen to the song John wrote for Chrissy. It’s called “All of Me” (swoon)

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8. Gwenyth Paltrow & Chris Martin. Spotting these two together is like seeing a double rainbow. Even though we don’t know anything about their relationship the fact that they keep it so private makes us love them.

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9. Pharrell Williams & Helen Lasichanh.  The newlyweds are a match made in hippie heaven and if you don’t believe us just ask their son Rocket.

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10. Of course last but not least President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. These two give true meaning to the term “power couple” and prove that real men aren’t intimidated by strong powerful women.

Selena Gomez Proves That You Can Be Friends with Your Ex

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Selena Gomez proves that you can be friends with your ex, even if he’s a bit of a douchebag?

At one point former Disney Star Selena Gomez was living every young girls dream. She was dating pop superstar Justin Bieber, her music career was in full swing and she was gracefully shedding her goody-two-shoes Disney image, without twerking or a foam finger. But like all good things it came to an end. In a recent interview she did with US Weekly she divulged the real reason she broke up Justin, which isn’t hard to figure out with all of his out of control behaviour like sleeping with Brazilian porn stars, peeing in mop buckets and running with a reckless group of friends. But at the tender age of 21 Gomez is showing us that you can break up with your ex and still be friends.

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“We can be friends” are famous last words spoken in the midst of the break up conversation. Whether you’re speaking the words or listening to your ex say them to you with a half hearted smile on their face, let’s be real how many of your exes are you really friends with? If your answer is all of them well you can stop reading this right now. As for the rest of us there is light at the end of this very dark tunnel. With a bit of honesty and communication it’s possible to still be friends with your ex. Here’s how

Take space.
When you initially break up with someone, there are going to be a lot of strong feelings. You’ll feel remorse, anger, jealousy, especially when you see a picture of some girl with her arms around him. That’s normal! Don’t beat yourself up for feeling what you’re feeling. But also don’t feel like you need to act on these bitter feelings. Take the space you need to be by yourself and mend your broken heart. No need to go to extremes with alcohol or new sexual   partners or calling him late at night in a fit of rage. It’s okay to let the phone ring when he calls and not pick it up.

Stop blaming.
Most of our heartbreak around this sort of situation is perpetuated by our own guilt, anger or sadness about the way things ended. “If I had done this differently then we would still be together,” or “He is such a asshole! How could he cheat on me?” You can really get yourself worked up about the break up if you’re not careful. The next time it happens to you stop yourself and say  “No blame,” then refocus on what you are doing. If you’re watching TV, come back to the program. If you’re on the treadmill, refocus on running. If you’re out with friends, rejoin the conversation. Whatever you are doing, drop the blame and just be in the moment.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.
There was a reason that you and your ex spent so much time together. Remember the good times, and don’t just assume the worst of your ex because of how the breakup went down. We all mean well, and we all strive for happiness. Sometimes we get confused about how to achieve that, and end up hurting others. Just because you feel hurt, doesn’t mean you need to forget about all the great memories from the relationship.

Reconnect on your terms.
Before you reconnect with your ex it’s very important  that you  feel ready. Now it’s important that I clarify that being ready is not after you’ve lost 20 pounds and think you look really hot and want to make them jealous, if you’re thinking that way you’re not ready yet. It may take weeks heck it may take years before you’re ready, and that’s okay. When you meet up, try to walk into that situation without a lot of expectations for what you want to happen. If you walk in with expectations there is a good chance you will end up disappointed. Think of it as a good chance to get to know them again. Pretend you’re on a first date, or just getting to know a new friend. You may be surprised by how much he has changed or realize he hasn’t changed at all.

Avoid the good old breakup to makeup I’ve always said that the easiest person to hook up with is your ex. Not only is it comfortable it also feels really good to be back in that familiar embrace. But you have to be very careful. The last thing you want to do is fall back into old roles that bring you back to the reason why you broke up in the first place.

The Good The Bad and The Single

What’s Your Number?

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Now beware of the conversation ladies it can come up out of no where like when the two of you are lying in bed and all of a sudden he wants to know how many people you’ve slept with. There’s often a number he thinks might be yours, but at the same time, he knows it might be higher or lower. Now if you’re the type of girl who likes to share everything with her man (fool) you should know what he thinks about your number.


Your Number: 1-8

There’s something very endearing about the one to eight zone. A guy may be cautious though if you are in your mid-twenties, or even a bit older; statistically speaking if you’re thirty and he’s the second guy you’ve slept with he may be suspicious. If you’re a bit younger and it’s one, two, or three, the guy likely assumes you had a string of very long-term relationships and that’s about it in the sexual realm. Alternatively, he may think you maintained your virginity for some time and be curious about that. It’s almost intimidating to be guy number two to four. You are easily forgiven any awkward moments in bed, but the guy might actually feel a lot of pressure as you may still be easing into your sexual life or maybe even turned off by your lack experience.

From four to eight he still assumes you’ve been in some long-term relationships but there’s likely a one-night stand in there somewhere, and that’s okay! Eight says this woman has been with other guys, is comfortable but somewhat discerning about hopping into bed, and yet might be willing to settle down with one guy moving forward.

Your Number: 9-15

The nine to fifteen zone is still pretty average in the mind of a man. You probably had a few one-night stands, some short-term flings, and some long-term boyfriends. You’ve run the gamut and know what you want. For the modern woman, anything up to fifteen should not surprise a guy. If your guy is surprised, it’s because his number is likely significantly less and he didn’t expect that. A gentleman that is shocked by a number in this range reveals more about himself then you just did by telling him your number.

Your Number: 16-30

This is where age does become a factor. If you are twenty and have slept with twenty men that says something different to a guy than if you are thirty and have slept with that many. The older you are, the more a man might assume short flings, relationships that went south earlier than expected, and even those guys whose last name may have gotten lost along the way. If you are in your late teens/early twenties and have slept with this many men you might get an eyebrow raise and some questions.

Your Number: 31-50

Now girls this is where your boyfriend might become uncomfortable with your number. One thing that I’ve learned is regardless a man’s age, religious background or profession they are for the most part very judgmental of women with too much sexual experience under her belt. A woman in her late twenties or older may very well have a number in this range. Ladies – don’t be ashamed. If you are in this range it tells a guy that you kissed some frogs. We have too. That’s okay.

Your Number: 51 or more

Ah, the experienced woman. Some men may not like the idea that the woman they have their heart set on has been with this many lovers. Some men might be glad you know what you are doing. There could be guys out there who might gasp if the woman they share a bed with turned out to have slept with more than fifty men. But that’s because they had an idea of how many men you slept with and it was much lower. In these sorts of cases it might be best to get “the talk” out of the way early on if you REALLY feel like you must share this part of your past with him.

At the end of the day, if you have the right chemistry and the sex is incredible, why should it matter how many people you slept with, are you going to kick the person out of bed if their number is too high or too low? I don’t think so. We all have preconceived notions of what our partner was doing before they met us (ideally: sitting on their hands idly waiting) but those expectations are often unrealistic. Our past shapes us in both good and bad ways, so stop asking silly questions, enjoy the sex and don’t forget to wear protection.

The Good The Bad and The Single

Texting and Dating, Loving it or Nah?

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Dating in the new millennium is complicated. It’s been broken down into a bunch of sub categories like hooking up, seeing each other, kicking it, sexting or becoming facebook official. Long gone are the innocent days of getting a note asking if you want to be someone’s girlfriend with two boxes yes or no.

Technology has thrust us single folks into a new dating world where communication is primarily done by text messages, which I cannot stand. My motto is never trust a man who can’t pick up the phone to talk to you (he’s probably sitting next to his wife) There are also a lot of women who feel like they have to compromise themselves to get a man to pay attention to them. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a women say , “if I don’t give him some he’ll just go get it from that other girl” I’d be a millionaire. But why are we putting  up with these ridiculous expectations? And when did we decide to put men in the drivers’ seat?

A few weeks ago I was encouraged by my girlfriend Sandra B to watch a special Oprah did about dating with authors of “It’s Just A F*cking Date” Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola,  and they touched on texting and dating and why women are lowering their standards. Take a look and feel free to share your thoughts

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Why-Women-Have-Lowered-Their-Dating-Standards-Video

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/The-Truth-About-Texting-and-Dating-Video