The Reason You’re Still Single According to Tyrese

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“For all you women out there that are single and don’t understand why you’re still single; hood-rats,hoes, traps, skeezers, bottom of the barrel chicks; they’re NEVER without a man; they go on dates all week; they smash and having sex all week; they’re never without a man clamming ad clinging on their every move; WHY? Because they’re EASY. When a man can sniff or smell that they just can’t stay anything to you or come at you any kind of slick ass way; they run away from you smart; intellectual; spiritually based god fearing women. You’re too smart, you’re too special, you’re too significant, so you run the bullshit people away; while the hood rats and the hoes they stay with dudes all around them; all day; everyday; so wear your SINGLE with PRIDE” – Tyrese

Do you agree with what Tyrese is saying? are all “good girls” doomed to singlehood forever because men prefer hoes?

The Good The Bad and The Single

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The One Question You Should Never Have to Ask While On a Date

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Dating. It can get freakin’ crazy town up in here.

One thing has been coming up a lot lately in conversations with clients and friends is the idea of first dates.

And what I realized is that the one question that you never want to have to ask on a date: “So, is this a date?”

I’ve been on dates (and non-dates) where that was the question one (or both of) us was asking ourselves. And if that is happening, then it’s time to shift our strategy.

A long while back, I rebelled against dates. I resisted the idea of blowing $100 on someone I barely knew. Then I resisted my pattern of getting too physical, too quickly. We’d both be stuck in the dopamine and oxytocin roller coaster and we’d have no idea whether we actually liked or loved each other. We did know that we wanted to screw each other, though. And that’s a great thing.

So then I shoved the pendulum in the other direction. I wanted to get to know women as friends, first. I want to know if I actually love hanging out with you. Because no matter how much great sex we have, we still have to be in each other’s company in non-naked situations. Can we go on a four-hour car ride with each other and not want to duct tape each other’s mouths? Can I have a blast with you at Target? Can we just chill out at home together and enjoy not talking? As long as there was initial physical attraction and chemistry, let’s put that on hold so we can get to know each as humans, first. So from then on, it was coffee. Or gelato. Real simple and casual. No pressure! No risk! And I still believe in that overall strategy. I want a best friend and a lover.

But it’s time to bring sexy back.

Because I noticed there was no spark on those dates. The vibe would already start off as friend zone. And therein lies the problem. If I want to find love, sex, romance, I have to create a space for it to show up. If you want to order love and sex, you gotta put them on menu.

My point is not about what you actually do on the date. The content is mostly irrelevant. It could be an espresso in Central Park. Sweaty salsa dancing in a dark corner of the local Cuban joint.

Picking out your favorite baboon at the zoo.

It’s more about the context of the date.

One fine day I got the phone number of a woman I met and felt a vibe with. Normally, I would have said, “We should meet up sometime and grab coffee.” And in my mind, I would have been thinking, “Let’s see how the meet-up goes. If it goes well, we’ll declare it a date retroactively. If it doesn’t go well, it’s ok because it was never a date to begin with! No risk!”

But with that approach, she doesn’t know what to do.

“Is he even interested in me?”
“What should I wear?”
“Does he find me attractive?”
“Is he going to be treating me or are we splitting the check?”

All of which add stress and confusion for her.

So with this particular woman, I just said: “I want to take you on a date. What does your week look like?”

NO ambiguity.
NO hesitation.
NO “so you wouldn’t wanna, kinda, sorta go out sometime, would you?”
NO “hanging out,” “grabbing coffee,” “grabbing a bite.”

And there are several benefits of being bold and direct.

FOR HER

She knows what you’re wanting.
She knows what’s she’s going into.
She gets to respond to your honesty.
It’s clear who is inviting who and who should pay (you).
She will actually feel your desire for her. Which feels a lot different than covertly desiring something from her.
She can relax.

FOR YOU

If she’s not interested, you get to know right away. No need to waste time/money/energy/tears on finding out later.
You feel good that you were unapologetic in owning and declaring what you want.
You know that if she does say yes, that she knows it’s a date, too. It’s on.
You know that both you and her won’t be playing any games or be stressed out in the ambiguity.
You’ve created a space for romance, flirtation and courtship to happen. And she gets to choose whether she wants to enter that space.

I spoke with several female friends about what I did and they all said something like, “Whoa, that’s bold. I love it. Wish more guys did that.” And to be honest, it was a new way for me. And it felt fucking great. I was energized. I was open to whatever answer she was going to give me.

So guys (and ladies), next time you are romantically/sexually interested in someone, use eight simple and powerful words: “I want to take you on a date.”

And no matter what they say back, you’ll be clear. Either it will be on, or it’s not, and you can move on.

By Jeffrey Platts

10 REASONS WHY FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ARE NO GOOD

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Never mind how it turned out for Mila and Justin in the movie ‘Friends With Benefits’, is your friend with benefits really worth your time? Read this list and see how excited you’ll be the next time he texts you at 2am

1. He’s definitely dating other girls. And those girls are getting dinner. And drinks. And sex. 

2. Since he’s not your boyfriend, you can’t drag him to your nephew’s christening or your bff’s wedding

3. He only meets you at your place leaving you with the after sex clean up.

4.Whe you see him on his phone you want to know who he’s text but know you have no business asking that question

5. He calls you “Babe,” but only because you think he sometimes forgets your name.

6. Sometime the sex is even that great..

7. You invited him to your birthday party, and he showed up at last call without a gift.

8. He has a roommate but you’ve never been introduced.

9. He knows that you like to talk dirty in bed but has no idea where you went to college or what your middle name is.

10. You haven’t been on a real date in over six months.

Rihanna Makes the First Move

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Well we know one guy who’s having a great Monday. His name is Mychal Kendricks and he plays football for the Philadelphia Eagles. This morning Rihanna posted a photo of him as her new MCM (Man Candy Monday) BTW they do not know each other and have never met.

Rihanna

This got me thinking if a beautiful successful pop princess like Riri isn’t afraid to make the first move, what’s your excuse? If you like a guy, why not ask him out. Sitting around waiting for him to notice you may not be the best strategy, switch things up and let him know you’re interested.  It’s  2014 time to try something new. Now there’s no need for proposals on the first date, but try starting a chain or emails or send him a cheeky text.

The rumor is he has responded. We’ll be watching to see how this all turns out

The Good The Bad and The Single

TLC’s Chilli Got a New Man

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                                                                            Wayne Brady and Chilli are dating

This couple is a great example of scrapping your ‘type’. If you haven’t had any success in the past 2014 can be a great time to start fresh.  Open minded people will say they don’t have a ‘type’ when it comes to the opposite sex. A sense of humour, intelligence and sex appeal go without saying, but if you’re still referring to your junior high list of what your man should look like maybe it’s time to scrap it, because you don’t necessarily know how who you’re attracted to until you start dating.  Plus if you’ve been dating the carbon copy of Mr Right and it hasn’t worked out don’t you think it’s time for a change?