The discussion about whether holding out for sex is going to make a guy more interested in a serious relationship with you rather than giving up the goods right away always gets people going.
There is a part of me that thinks it doesn’t matter,but the other side says why go all in before you even get to know this person, suppose he’s an asshole?
Steve Harvey related it to the 3 month probation at a new job. No benefits until we see how we work together. There is a part of me that really agrees with that, but putting an exact length of time is what throws me off a bit.
What I do know is that woman are more emotional about sex and do not have the ability to “stick and move” for lack of a better phrase, like our male counterparts. I tell my guy friends all the time after you’ve had sex with a girl more than 3 times trust me she’s catching feelings no matter how much she tries to play it off.
Some women believe holding out protects your feelings, which I kind of agree with. I once dating this douchebag, let’s call him Michael. He broke up with me in the middle of a night club and left me by myself. I was devastated but in the end I felt a sense of relief that I held out and didn’t sleep him, mind you it still hurt like hell.
For the folks out there who have a high libido holding out for a certain amount of time is their way of controlling sexual urges. This reminds me of dry humping at the school dance, in the end you end up doing everything but penetration, which doesn’t really count as holding out in my opinion.
Holding out for a certain amount of time is also a way for some women to feel like they have control of the situation. I agree with this however turning sex into a game of cat and mouse is risky? Having a man beg and plead for sex might be cute for a minute but suppose he’s on to your game and waits and waits and ends up taking off after he hits it anyway, then who ends up in the driver’s seat?
Sex is a hell of a drug and sometimes it prevents us from seeing the “real” person standing at the foot of your bed. Holding out and taking the time to get to know the person I believe can give you more clarity on the situation. It also gives you more time to discover things like him being married, or a convict or worse a straight up loser.
I think it’s important to take a little mental inventory on what all your short-term relationships is doing to your self-esteem. It’s all good to be sexually liberated but make sure you’re not confusing it with the “fuck n’hope” syndrome, that’s when you fuck a guy and HOPE he calls you the next day, or HOPE he doesn’t tell everyone, or HOPE you’re not pregnant or HOPE he doesn’t have an STI.
Having sex with someone you know and trust feels better than hooking up with a random stranger you met at the bar right?
Tell me your thoughts
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